Kohn Zone: Reuniting A Family

Dan & Co. due in an hour

2010-08-06T20:23:00.000-04:00

It's shortly after 8 p.m. on Friday, August 6 and sitting aboard a flight from Dallas to Orlando is brother Dan Kohn, his girlfriend Lisa Howard, Dan's daughter Hannah Kohn and Amy's eldest daughter, Abby Jones.

Their flight is a bit late and due to land about 9:10 p.m.

We have a lot in store for them during the week they'll be here. Tonight will be a time to recover from the trip, tomorrow too. We'll show off parts of Orlando most tourists don't see, like downtown, Lake Eola and the like.

Sunday, the hard touristing begins. We've figured a schedule that can accommodate the days off of all my daughters, and I hope they travelers agree. It's funny, when the trip was planned, I had no idea I'd have to have surgery the same week, so while I'll be at all the venues with the gang, I'm sure I won't be able to enjoy everything. Such as coasters. I have a feeling I won't be riding any this week. Ah well.

Here's the tentative plan:

Sunday, we hit the beach. But not any beach; rather, we're going to travel to what Dr. Beach has called one of the world's top-10 beaches -- Fort DeSoto Park in St. Pete Beach.

Monday we'll tackle Spiderman, Harry Potter and Dr. Seuss, not to mention the Simpsons, Jaws and MIB. Yep, Universal. Fun.

Tuesday we'll have a break from the parks and enjoy the day at CoCo Key, a water resort where Karen works. The slides are fun, and with Karen at the bar I'll be the drinks would be too -- but not for me. Alcohol and my meds surely won't mix. Grrrr.

Wednesday and Thursday, with Aimee and Luis off, they, Catherine and I will visit the four Disney theme parks with the worldly travelers. Worldly of course, because I'm sure one of the trips will involve a walk around the World Showcase at Epcot Center.

Friday, well that's when Dan, Lisa, Hannah and Abby will be able to relax -- on the flights back to Southern California.

So that's the plan so far. There may just be some amendments along the way.

A mother of a day

2009-05-10T18:27:00.008-04:00

We hada wonderful Mother's Day 2009 today.

It began with a brunch at home with all the kids -- and I mean all the kids. That's something that doesn't happen

too often. Karen, Jen, Chris, Aimee and Luis all came to the house -- which, of course, means Emily was there too.

Kimberly's gift to her mom was a delicious meal of finger sandwiches and salads and dips, and Karen contributed with a yummy fruit tree.

After lunch we all posed for a family portrait -- I think it's our first in the 2000s.

Aimee and Emily say cheese.

Then, we were off to the movies to see the latest rendition of the Star Trek saga. I think Paramount will have a new generation of Trek fans on their hands.

Aunt Jen and Uncle Chris pose with Emily.

Here are some photos of the day, and a bit lower some extra shots of you know who.

Emily's already a month old

2009-02-24T12:35:00.005-05:00

The old-timer we call our granddaughter, Emily Nunez, turns a month old today.

She was born four weeks and three days ago at Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies and since then has really developed quite a bit. She eats, she poops, which is all normal. But she also can roll over and has done so several times. She smiled at me briefly. And during a bonding session last night, she whispered how much she loves her grandpa. Of course it sounded like a burp, but I know better.

To mark the occasion, here are some photos of Emily shot last night.

Can never get enough Emily

2009-02-20T14:03:00.004-05:00

Aimee and Emily paid a visit to the office on Tuesday, and it was a nice chance to introduce my little granddaughter to many friends still in the office at that hour.

Here are a couple of photos taken in the newsroom. As you can see, daylight came and went as I stood in front of my desk in the same position for hours. And Emily, the official Orlando Sentinel newsroom napper, didn't budge.

Is she cute, or what? No need to answer; I already know what you're going to say.

Records come, records go

2009-01-26T18:32:00.002-05:00

Earlier today, the 17,000th visitor to my blogs, CancerVivor.blogspot.com and kohnzone.blogspot.com, stopped by for a few.

They were greeted by either photos of a really cute newborn named Emily (kohnzone) or some less than cute images of the inner workings of my body (CancerVivor).

At the former, I was announcing the birth of my first grandchild and showing off some photos. That's pretty self-explanatory, so I'll focus on the cancer site.

There, as I have since it launched, I am trying to educate as many people as possible about esophageal cancer and how to avoid it.

So I'll rehash some things I've said in the past:

First, YES! You can get cancer from heartburn. It's not all that difficult, apparently. I did it. Just eat spicy foods -- lots of them -- mixed with greasy, unhealthy items. For a long time. That will set you in the right direction. To follow up, avoid seeing a doc about heartburn or taking meds to treat it. Then, when the heartburn fades away suddenly, think of it as a blessing that your self-medication has helped, not the condition know as Barrett's Esophagus which masks a pre-cancerous condition. If any of these symptoms occur, longtime heartburn or sudden discontinuation of heartburn for no real reason, see a doctor.

Second, esophageal cancer survival is so low because it often is diagnosed in advanced stages. For me, the tumor was large enough to block much of my swallowing, but not all. So if you find it difficult to get food from your mouth to your stomach, see a doctor. The sooner the better.

Third, statistically, esophageal cancer is growing, both nationwide and in Florida. It continues to be very lethal, as noted above. Of the 1,170 Floridians to come down with the disease, 1,010 people died in the American Cancer Society's most recent statistical report. The numbers were grim nationwide as well in 2008: 16,470 new cases and 14,280 deaths.

There's a five-year survivability rate of 34 percent for those with the cancer contained to the esophagus, as mine was, so I'm not nearly out of the woods yet. For all stages of the cancer, the survivability rate plunges to 16 percent.

When diagnosed, I was staged at 2 to 3, meaning it was advanced but had not yet spread to the lymphatic system. That's what saved my life -- so far.

Across the country, esophageal cancer is the seventh-leading form of cancer among men, claiming 11,250 lives -- or 4 percent of all male cancer deaths.

So please, please, if any of this sounds like you, get help. Get it now. Do not wait. I'm not a doctor but I can speak from experience and, sadly, this is an area in which I have experience. Be cautions and take a proactive stance.

It could save your life.

Little Emily is born

2009-01-25T19:49:00.005-05:00

Emily Nunez was born Jan. 24, at 12:14 p.m. She weighed 7 pounds, 11 ounces, was 21 inches long (tall?) and is just adorable.

Mother Aimee Nunez, my second-youngest daughter, is doing grand and her hubby, Luis, is dancing on the clouds.

Today, Saturday, Jan. 25, is the only day in her life that Emily -- if she could talk -- would be able to legitimately ask, "What do I look, like I was born yesterday?" and mean it.

I'm posting several photos so you can judge for yourself whether she's the cutest 2-day-old baby you've ever seen, or at least seen today.

Enjoy.

Emily Snoozes.

Aimee and Emily.

The happy parents with Emily.

Sometimes she gets antsy.

Yes, Catherine and I are happy grandparents.

Karen loves her little niece.

Jen wants one just like this.

Kim holds her littlest niece.

Theresa holds Emily.

Emily takes a rest.

Mom and Dad pose with Emily.

Luis takes a nap.

Grandma loves her little dumpling.

Isn't she cute?

That's my little girl.

Just when you thought it was safe...

2009-01-08T09:59:00.003-05:00

Just like the ads for the Jaws sequel, there's always something lurking.

For me, I learned this past summer when I met my family in California, heart disease is a part of my genetic history. My father had the first of his three heart attacks at age 35. My brother Dan suffered a heart attack just a few months ago; thankfully he survived and is thriving.

So while I'm surprised that I've had some discomfort and all in the past few weeks, I'm not shocked. After all, some 24.1 million Americans had some form of heart disease, roughly 11 percent of the population, in 2006. There were 652,091 deaths caused by heart disease in 2006, ranking it as the nation's top killer with a rate of 222 per 100,000 people in the general population.

All that said, I met with Dr. James A. Miner of Florida Heart Group on Tuesday (photo from the Florida Heart Group Web site). He was concerned with the repeated chest discomfort I've experienced in the past few weeks and sent me onto the treadmill. I kept up well, though got out of breath when the tech set the machine at the Mount Everest-level climb. Dr. Miner sat in on the test and then reviewed the printouts.

Afterwards he offered this summary: "Either it's nothing or it's something." I'm happy with the former, less so with the latter. If it's something, it may be a clogged artery, meaning I'd need a stent.

To find out, on Friday I wake up very early and go in for a cardiac catheterization. This is where they slink a very thin tube up to the heart through arteries in the leg. There, with the aid of X-rays and a fluroscope, the doctor can observe the heart and decide whether there's a problem.

I've spoken to a few people who have undergone the procedure and all pretty much assured me there's a very low level of discomfort. Actually, one assistant at Dr. Miner's office said there's some pretty good pain drugs afterward. I guess that's the reward for good behavior.

I'll post updates Friday after the procedure and will tray to grab a couple of images from the doctor to post.

Meantime, it is safet to go into the water. Just watch where your step.

Remember to vote...

2008-09-29T00:48:00.003-04:00

From The Great Schlep on YouTube.

Go to this link...

http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&q=the%20great%20schlep&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wv#

I just saw this video and I hope after you view it you, too, will agree with its premise. Even if it means traveling to New York instead of Florida. Go. Get there. Make the vote count. Hurry.
- Keith

Another milestone -- 15,017

2008-09-21T01:28:00.004-04:00

Not long ago, just a few hours actually, my two blogs, CancerVivor.blogspot.com and kohnzone.blogspot.com, went past 15,000 page views.

In the scheme of things, that's not a very vast amount of traffic. But for me, it's ginormous. That's because it means my messages of health (cancer blog) and of a reunited family (kohnzone) are getting out to at least a handful of avid readers who keep clicking here, and, maybe, to more than that on a less-frequent basis.

My key goal is to get as many people I can to understand how I acquired cancer of the esophagus so that maybe, just maybe, they will not.

(Advertising interlude here: Please remember to click on the ads on this blog, as any money raised -- so far just $31.13 -- will go as a donation to Florida Hospital Cancer Institute. But Google won't cut a check until there's more than $100 in ad revenue, so get to work!)

So I'll recap. Yes, you can get cancer from heartburn. Heartburn causes acid reflux, which splashes stomach fluids onto or into the esophagus. When it happens too often, the esophagus gets defensive. It changes and takes on some characteristics of the stomach. This change, Barrett's Esophagus, is a pre-cancerous state. It opens the esophagus and other parts of the body to developing cancer. That is what happened to me.

So, almost exactly a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer thanks to the expert endoscopy of Dr. Philip Styne. Hurriedly, he sent me to my wonderful oncologist, Dr. Lee Zehngebot -- Dr. Z for short -- who explained a lot and hooked me up with Dr. David Diamond, my fantastic radio-oncologist, who started my radiation program like it a matter of life or death -- which, after all, it was.

First, both docs had me go into Winter Park Hospital to be outfitted with my high-tech bodily accessories -- a medical port so Dr. Z could infuse my body with wonderful chemical cocktails and a feeding tube so Dr. Diamond could be sure that if I couldn't swallow food the old-fashioned way I could drink it without it ever passing through my lips.

Then I was tattooed and set up on a radiation program, which began a day or so later. A few days after that I had my first dose of chemo, a several-hour procedure where I was doped up pretty good at first and then -- bang! -- saturated with poisons to kill the cancer, or at least keep it from spreading as the radiation bombarded the tumor. I had radiation five mornings a week for several weeks and at the same time had a new buddy -- a chemo pump that slowly dripped the chemicals into my medi-port 24/7 for the same amount of time.

Nearly two months of this went by -- all while my mom was often unconscious recovering (I hoped) from heart surgery and lung complications -- and then I was free of both forms of helpful torture.

(Remember, this is the condensed version.)

I then had a month or so of a cooling-off period. This was from mid-November 2007 to late December of that year, during which time my mom transferred to a rehab center in Orlando and my daughter Jennifer Kohn became Jennifer Kuz when she married Chris Kuz in December. The Friday before Christmas 2007, it was Dec. 21, I went under the skillful knife of Dr. Joseph Boyer, the chief of thoractic surgery for cancer patients at Florida Hospital and, yes, a Yankees fan. But first I had to undergo a PET scan, which found two "hot spots" of possible cancer and then the two biopsies -- to my liver and chest near the lungs -- to confirm that they were not cancerous.

After the surgery, I spent nearly three weeks in the hospital -- one of them in the ICU with a tube running from my stomach, out through my nose and to a suction and a TV whose sound would stay on after you bash it with your arm -- before I was able to go home weighing about 75 pounds lighter than before I was diagnosed with cancer.

After another recovery period, in which I consumed many oxycodone and then hydrocodone pills to ease the constant pain, I was cleared to return to work and in mid-February 2008 I walked back to the Orlando Sentinel's newsroom. Shocked, truly, I received two standing ovations from the many friends who supported me with cards, letters, calls, a scrapbook, e-mails and prayers during my ordeal. These are the people dreams are made of, wonderful friends and colleagues who kept me going, folks who I'll never in my lifetime be able to forget or repay for their many forms of kindness.

So in a nutshell, that is what I went through. And it's why I want to help keep others from going through the same thing. Maybe that's why I've made it this far; to keep you from coming down with this horrid disease. So I'll repeat some of the facts and tips here:

Cancer of the esophagus is among the most deadly forms of the disease and it also is among the fastest growing of the cancers, as society and work habits evolve. By the time you find out you have the cancer, it's practically too late. Luckily, it was discovered in my lower esophagus before the disease spread to my lymph nodes and the rest of my body.

I found it because it was difficult to swallow, so remember, if you find you have difficulty swallowing food or drinks, see a doctor. If you've had heartburn for a long time and it seems to have gone away without medical help, see a doctor. It probably didn't. Both problems are signs of cancer or at least Barrett's Esophagus. Remember, Tums and Rolaids won't relieve you of cancer, they just ease the symptoms of heartburn. See a doctor. Get an endoscopy by a qualified gastro doc. Listen to what he or she says very carefully.

Oh, and keep a positive attitude. You'll need it for what's to come.

But first let's pray it never gets that far.

A boat, some dolphins and us

2008-09-09T09:58:00.005-04:00

So we're out in the Gulf on Sunday, again heading to Egmont Key, when a few friends come up next to us. We'd never met them, but new friends are new friends. So we cut the engine, relying only on sail power.

That's when the new friends -- a pod of dolphins -- really got playful.

As we're cruising at a pretty good wind-powered clip some of the mammals dove under the boat, popping up on the port side, then swimming back. One, with a bite missing from its dorsal fin, swam right up to the side of the boat at one point. There were several calves in the pod, but their mothers never let them get too close.

It was really an amazing sight.

We made it to Egmont and beached the boat as we did last time. A nice picnic on the beach and then it was time to sail.

But when we were ready to leave, the tide wasn't in our favor. It was coming in as we were going out. Another couple helped us launch off the island and we were on our way back.

Despite the tide cutting across the bow, we made it back to the marina in a little over an hour.

But we were not leaving just yet. Proving the adage that a boat is a hole in the water into which you pour money, the winch post on the trailer cracked as we were lifting the boat out of the water. So we had to hold off and I went to a nearby Walmart to buy help. I found a ratchet winch with two hooks, and one went to the boat and the other to the SUV.

It worked and we hauled the boat, stowed the gear, packed the masts and sails and made it home about six hours later.

What a day and and night. Still, the dolphins saved the day and made the whole thing worth the effort.

Yep, spills might foretell a heart attack

2008-09-03T08:00:00.008-04:00

My brother Dan took two trips in the weeks leading up to his heart attack last month.

These trips were the type usually followed by kids screaming:
"Have a nice trip, see you in the fall." As in scraped knees, elbows and egos.

The first was during our visit out West. We were in Las Vegas when Dan returned to the hotel with a boo-boo on his knee. He said he was chatting on the phone when he somehow fell down. He insisted he was sober, but I think the rest of us had our doubts.

The second was last month during the family's annual weeklong trip to Catalina. This was several weeks after Catherine and I returned from California, where we met the wonderful people who make up my family -- the West Coast Kohns. Dan was running down a hill and wiped out.

Sister Amy Jones captured the moment with her brand spankin' new Apple iPhone (see photo above left). I don't want to disparage the high-tech G3 phone, but ... but maybe that's why the picture's a smidge fuzzy. Maybe. I'm just saying...

Today, Dan still doesn't think the falls were connected with his pending heart attack, but among the warning signs for heart attacks is sudden fainting. Not knowing why you suddenly fell might fall in that category. Dan's also the guy having severe chest pains who drove himself to the hospital rather than calling 911 for the ride.

So what have we learned?

First, call 911 if you have symptoms of a heart attack. Second, if you begin to fall for no apparent reason, see your doctor -- or an ER doc. It could save your life. Third, don't pose for your sister after falling if she's sporting a new camera.

It's a girl

2008-08-28T12:05:00.004-04:00

OK, so Aimee is preggers, and the scans show ...

It's a girl.

Imagine.

Bit it's true.

The little lady is due early next year.

Here are some photos of the li'l critter.

See the resemblence?

The rugrat to be is looking up with her head at the right and heart to the left.

Above, the baby's foot is an inch long, as measured by the dotted line. See those cute little toes?

This shot is how we can determine her gender. Just read the words and figure it out for yourself (Hint: There's an arrow where something would be if she were a boy!).

Here she is looking upward again, with her head to the right, heart and abdomen to the left.

This is a 3-D shot of her legs, as if she were sitting, facing the right. Aren't those feet cute!

Come Sail Away

2008-08-11T21:20:00.006-04:00

We took a little trip this past weekend. With our little sailboat. Into the Gulf of Mexico and out to sea.

It was the farthest we'd ever traveled offshore with the boat. We went from Fort Desoto Park (the best beach in the U.S., according to at least one noted expert) to Egmont Key at the edge of Tampa Bay where it mingles with the gulf.

It was really a great trip and I am glad we made it.

That's because it was more than just a trip. It was an adventure.

Sure, how big an adventure could it be?

Well, imagine a trip involving a woman overboard, a daring (work with me) rescue in the middle of a shipping channel just as a vast cruise ship was within minutes of passing, an island picnic, a sailing ship grounding on a sandbar as the red-hot sun flirted with setting and then an encounter with dolphins, sand dollars (the vicious kind) and even a shark.

I hope you enjoyed the photos...there will be more to come in the future.

A healthier brother

2008-08-11T16:51:00.007-04:00

Somehow, Dan was able to go home Saturday, just a couple days after experiencing a heart attack.

He's much healthier now, thanks to the stent in his lower doohickey artery, or whatever it's called, that was fully blocked before.

Dan even sent me some images of his heart, before and after the near-fatal event.

The first image is the clogged heart and the second is the new, improved Dan Kohn Heart.

We have our father and his legacy of heart problems to thank. But that's OK. It could be worse.

Dan said he's feeling much better than he was last week soon after arriving to work one morning. He said he was surprised because the pain wasn't quite as bad as he thought a heart attack would feel.

I guess no one really knows what to expect.

Let's hope most of us never find out.

Unnerving news

2008-08-08T10:41:00.007-04:00

I received a very disturbing call Thursday just before heading into work.

It was my brother-in-law Brice calling to let me know my younger brother Dan Kohn had a heart attack a short time earlier. The news was sketchy, but apparently Dan had a clot in his lung which caused the trauma. Brice said he'd call back when he heard more.

A text and photo message a couple hours later eased my concern a bit. It was a shot of Dan in the ICU and a note: "Dan is in recovery doin ok. One stent." I was in a meeting, but that really made me feel better. Once the meeting ended I called Brice, who was with Dan in the ICU. I also spoke to Dan and he said he was feeling much better.

He said when he arrived at work he felt a horrible chest pain and drove himself to the emergency room. I nearly scolded him for placing his life and others in danger rather than dialing 911. He said he'd heard it several times already. Still, Dan was alive and Dan would make it .

Hearth disease is part of the heredity both Dan and I inherited from my father's side of the family. I was lucky enough to also inherit much stronger heart genes from my Mom's side, and so far haven't had such problems, save for high blood pressure.

But Dan isn't so lucky. Our paternal grandfather died young of heart problems. Our uncle, Daniel Kohn, our father's older brother, died of a heart attack at a young age. Our father, Mel Kohn, had his first heart attack at age 36. So this legacy isn't one to take lightly. We've both beaten those odds so far.

Dan knew of this genetic blessing and was working on it. He'd been working out and training to run a half-marathon later this year. He'd lost weight, lost his gut and is in pretty good shape. But that wasn't enough to clear out the single artery in his heart that was completely blocked.

The half-marathon is off for now, but Dan's healthy life will experience a renaissance and I know Dan will be healthier a month from now than he was a month ago.

14,017

2008-07-28T22:14:00.001-04:00

I am flattered and honored that there have been more than 14,000 visits to my blogs since I launched CancerVivor.blogspot.com in October 2007.

Since then, I also created kohnzone.blogspot.com after discovering a piece of my family I never knew existed.

Throughout, I have tried to warn anyone who would listen about the dangers of ordinary heartburn and acid reflux. Most recently, I logged into Facebook and soon was chatting with a friend from high school whose longterm domestic partner has been having acid reflux for years. She and her partner live offshore, so he hasn't been receiving the type of care we expect here. I implored her to force him to see a doctor and I hope she's read through this blog and forced him to read it too.

That's because heartburn can cause cancer, which can cause death. It's that simple.

So if you or someone you care about has longtime heartburn, reflux or the like, please, please have that person see a gastroenterologist. Soon.

Time is important because this is a dangerous cancer and you don't want it to spread. That's what could make it fatal.

Please keep reading and I'll keep writing. And I hope that helps save a few lives in the process.

In retrospect and reflection

2008-07-15T12:51:00.004-04:00

I talk to Amy, Tracy and Dan and I realize several things.

One, that without the obvious splitup of my parents, as depicted in the photo shot in Brooklyn in 1958 or '59, my siblings Dan, Amy, Tracy and Andy never would have been.

Two, that the aforementioned split helped shape me and make me who I am, and, to a degree, who my children are. I have no complaints.

Three, that while my father was a caring and compassionate man toward his children out West, he also failed them in some respects. Some of the failings were his fault, many were not. Among the former, he gave up when trying to win their custody after it appeared he lost. At the time, men infrequently won custody, true. Later, he focused on anger over his divorce with their mom, and that got in the way of his parenting, relegating him to being a so-called "Disney Dad." Anger betrayed the love he felt for them. In spite of this, not because of it, they turned out pretty damned good.

Four, I am not sorry that my parents split. I turned out well, as did they, and I now have a brother and two sisters. Further, I was blessed to have a wonderful mother who gave me a wonderful foundation to build my life upon. I'm not sure which is better: growing up an only child or growing up the eldest of what might have been five had they remained a couple. We'll never know. None of us, since all the key players in this drama have passed.

Oh, the questions I'd ask Mom if she were here. But at least her scarlet letter has been lifted -- and shame on those who imposed it on her.

Looking back to the past few weeks

2008-07-05T11:00:00.019-04:00

It's Saturday morning and this past week has been a whirlwind. Since arriving home we spent about a day recovering from the daylong journey on Spirit Air, which does anything but lift your spirits. Then I was back at work, and Catherine prepared for her trip to Maryland to visit Melissa, EJ and the gang.

So, looking back, the two weeks spent in California were amazing. I met two sisters and a brother -- and their children and one very nice husband -- who, until a couple months ago, I'd never spoken with and didn't know existed until a short time before that.

We don't really look alike, but what we share is our father. Mel Kohn, we suspect, traveled to California and spent some time there with my mother before they called it quits. Mom and I moved back to New York a little over a year after I was born. But Mel remained on the West Coast, where he found work as a manager in the industry he'd been in back East -- trucking.

At only 36, he had the first of three heart attacks and it was then, several years after I was in New York, that he met his future bride, Rita -- his nurse. Perhaps now aware of his mortality, he and Rita married. They purchased a house in the town of Huntington Beach, in Orange County south of Los Angeles. They had four children in rapid succession -- not unlike Catherine and myself.

Dan, named for his Uncle Daniel Kohn, is the eldest of the four. His namesake, our father's older brother, also died at a young age, not unlike their father -- my grandfather, Abe. But Dan has been getting and keeping in shape of late and has begun to run in foot races, including a half-marathon just a little while ago. He's going through a divorce and has two children, Caleb, who was out of town during out trip out West, and Hannah, who is a gem of a daughter and, to me, niece.

Amy is the eldest daughter and the person I first was able to contact when trying to reach my new family. She's quite a woman, with a fun sense of humor and a strong spirit. So strong that I don't even think Spirit Air could break hers.

She's married to Brice, an engineer with Alcoa's fastener division. He jokes that there are a lot of nuts at work, he's the nuts and bolts of the operation, and the like.
They live in the house our father purchased in Huntington Beach, which is known as Surf City USA, buying it from their mom several years ago. Their four children are Kenny, Abby, Missy and Grace. Each is a very distinct person with a very unique mind and spirit. We had loads of fun with all of them, even the last full day of our visit when we went to the movies.

Tracy is Mel's youngest daughter and is quite a card. Early on during our visit we kept missing one another but finally got in touch with one another. Good thing, because during our two visits with Tracy and her wonderful kids Elyse and Nolan we had a really good time.

Our first meeting was at The Block mall, where we went to Dave & Busters, had a great dinner and played a ton of games. The kids won a lot of tickets and got a prize or two in exchange.

Our second time together was a trip to Magic Mountain, the Six Flags theme park north of L.A. with a bunch of amazing roller coasters. We did quite a few coasters, and I was even able to coax Tracy and Elyse onto the Superman coaster, which shoots you out to 100 mph then curves straight up until you reach about 325 feet before you free-fall back to the start. It was a great time and I hope the kids like their new aunt and uncle. Tracy and I are sure to build a good relationship over the years.

Sadly, I was unable to meet my youngest brother Andy because he died about 18 months earlier. Andy was a troubled soul and my regret is never getting to know -- and possibly help -- him out through the years. But I was able to be part of his interment at sea. Amy and Dan had planned a trip to Santa Catalina Island to scatter Andy's remains. And I am glad they were able to schedule it during our trip out West. We traveled to the island for the afternoon and Dan rented a small powerboat -- with me at the wheel -- to head offshore for our very casual farewell to Andy. We all shed tears during the trip, perhaps Amy the most, as Dan scattered Andy's remains. As Amy said, those were just his physical remains, but his spirit remains all around us all the time. I lightened the air by pointing out that for a little bit, anyway, he was around us all the more as his ashes melded with the Pacific waters. Dan tossed in some of his and Andy's favorite baseball cards. And we all thought that perhaps Andy and his mom would bump in to one another since her remains also were interred off the Catalina coast.

Our trip to Las Vegas the previous weekend also was an important part of our visit. Amy and Brice reserved the rooms at one of the Strips nicest properties -- Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino. The room was magnificent and the ameneties wonderful -- a wave pool, a meandering lazy river pool and three swimming pools -- and the company of Amy, Brice and Dan great. It was a chance to bond and get to know one another. While we didn't hang out as much as I'd have liked in Vegas, we spent lots of time together there and on the drive there and back. Dan managed to scrape a knee even while he was sober and I introduced Amy and Brice to matzo ball soup served at the deli in the New York, New York casino, though couldn't get them to budge on the gefilte fish. Maybe next time.

We also had the opportunities to meet relatives on both sides of the family. A college graduation party in San Diego gathered the Green family together. They're Amy's Mom's side of the family, and it was nice to meet them all. The house was in a beautiful area. It's weird that even though the city is south of L.A. and Orange County it was cooler. Toward the end of the trip we also had a chance to travel to Long Beach and visit with my cousin Trudy, her husband David, as well as cousin Jill and husbad Alan, plus their nephew, Kirk and Maddy's son Mark, now a Hollywood up-and-comer. We had a nice dinner, a tour of Trudy's condo and during the conversations Trudy offered a few insights into what she recalls of the days when my Mom and father were dating and engaged.

It's kind of like a puzzle to put together, tidbit of information by tidbit of information.

I'm sure at some point I'll have most, though not all, of the pieces filled in.

The day we flew back home, Catherine and I spent the day as tourists. We went back to Universal Hollywood, had lunch at Bubba Gump Seafood on CityWalk, did the few rides we'd missed before, then left and touristed in Hollywood before heading to the airport for our delayed flight home. Ah Spirit Air. Gotta like em. Just remember, if ever you have an opportunity to fly on Spirit, pass it up and fly another carrier. You'll thank me later.

2008-06-30T01:47:00.001-04:00

Waiting to leave LAX. It is 10:45 and the plane leaves at 11:40 or so. Just 20 minutes late.

2008-06-29T18:15:00.001-04:00

A wet willie for the Apollo 13 crew.

2008-06-29T14:50:00.001-04:00

We're all watching family videos at Amy and Brice's house. We leave later today.

2008-06-27T16:02:00.001-04:00

We are at Magic Mountains.

It's been a busy, fun, introspective visit

2008-06-27T02:35:00.002-04:00

It's now nearly Friday morning West Coast time and I finally can say I've met all my siblings. I met Tracy on Wednesday, when we met at The Block at Orange, a mall, and had dinner and some fun at Dave & Buster's.

Elyse and Nolan are really nice young people and it sounds like they've had a lot going on of late. I'm happy to have them for a niece and nephew.

In fact, tomorrow, Friday, they, their mom and I are going to Magic Mountain for the day. I think Catherine is going to stick around the hotel and rest after this whirlwind visit that involved several sub-trips since we arrived in California.

One such sub-trip was on Thursday, when Amy, Dan, Catherine and I traveled to Catalina island for a twofold visit. First thing we did was to rent a small motorboat and travel offshore from the island resting about 22 miles from Long Beach. There, Dan laid our brother Andy's ashes to rest in the sea not far from where their mother's remains were put to sea several years ago. A few of Andy's and Dan's choice baseball cards also were interred in the sea for Andy to enjoy.

There also are several photos of our visit below, so feel free to check them out.

Though I'd never met Andy, and never experienced the demons he encountered daily, the loss remains with me. Amy and Dan each had tears in their eyes as the ashes met the Pacific. Amy had a good point the other day when she explained that those are just ashes, but Andy's spirit will never be too far away. He's up there looking down on us to this day.

We made it back to shore in one piece -- of course, since I was at the helm -- and spend the next couple of hours meandering about Avalon, the small town on Catalina, which is a mountainous island protected from us humans except for about 10 percent of the land mass that makes up the residential and commercial areas.

We had lunch overlooking the marina and some of the sealife.

And, I believe, we all got to know one another more. Though sad in many ways, I think the time spent together made us more of a family and I'm glad we've had as much time as we have to do this.

And I'm sure my time with Tracy and her kids will be spent as well.

After all, we all have nearly five decades to catch up on.

2008-06-26T18:52:00.001-04:00

Amy and Dan aboard our little boat as we head out to set Andy to his final rest. It was a poignant moment for all.

2008-06-26T18:46:00.001-04:00

Dan performs a striptease for dozens - er - for onlookers.

2008-06-26T16:53:00.001-04:00

A solemn moment as Dan scatters the remains of Andy in the Pacific off Catalina.

2008-06-25T23:34:00.001-04:00

Tracy, Nolan and Elise joined us at Dave & Busters.

An Amazing Week

2008-06-21T02:42:00.006-04:00

I haven't had Internet access until now -- except by blogging photos from the cell phone.

But other than that single snafu, this has been an amazing week. I've met some wonderful people, and I just happen to be related to them all.

My sister Amy and husband Brice are great people, and their four children -- Kenny, Abby, Melissa and Grace -- are wonderful kids who each are independent thinkers and pretty darned smart.

We've all spent quite a bit of time together, going to places like Boomers (a family fun center), Universal Hollywood, the pier at Surf City USA -- a/k/a Huntington Beach -- and just out and about around town.

Catherine, I, Melissa and Grace drove out to Riverside the other day to meet my brother Dan and his daughter Hannah. Dan lives in the city but just far enough out that his neighbor has goats in the backyard. He has lots of room on his lot. And (shhh, don't tell anyone) he has a roller rink in front of his garage. Ask me about this later.

Dan is a great guy and I hope to get to know him better through the coming years. As with Amy, we have a lot of time to make up.

Hannah is a wonderful young lady. When we first met, she was dazed and confused due to exhaustion from a Girl Scout camping trip and then a night at her friend's house. Too pooped to pop is how my Mom used to put it. But once she woke up, she warmed up very quickly. She and Melissa -- who prefers the name Missy -- spend the night in our hotel room and they conked out there pretty fast. But no bother, as the next morning was our trip to Universal.

The weekend is booked but I hope to meet up with my sister Tracy and her two kids next week. I will call her to set up a time and report back here.

I can't begin to describe how hot it is out here. Once you drift inland from the coast even just a couple of miles it is uncomfortable. Unless you're in the shade. Then it's bearable. Barely. At Universal Hollywood, the temps had to be in the low triple-digits. It was hot. Scorching hot. Central Florida is by no means chilly, but the heat is different. This is a "dry heat." It's very, very hot, but not in the shade. In Florida, it's just plain hot and humid.

It was so hot at Universal that the kids had to play in the Curious George water playground to stay cool and comfy. They had a blast there. We did, too, by watching them play.

Catherine and I shift hotels from the Hilton to the Double Tree, but just for a night. Sunday night and Monday night we'll be in Vegas, and then Tuesday through our departure we'll be at the Double Tree in Anaheim.

Speaking of hotels and accommodations. Here's my ranting review of the Hilton across from the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, Calif.:

It's pretty darned mediocre. The room's nothing to write home about. Very plain Jane, vanilla, dull, same-old-same-old. The staff is sub-satisfactory and very much less than accommodating. They charge $16 a night to park. Yes. Really. The breakfast buffet costs nearly $20 a person and wasn't that impressive to look at so we didn't choose to buy.

The pool and spa were bright spots, but the fitness center, even with its nice, shiny, new machines, lacks some major basics. The business center is well equipped, but why the heck would you use it for 60 cents a minute? What a load of crap. Oh, speaking of which, they also charge $10 a day for high-speed internet, or $6.99 an hour if you chose to connect in the lobby. (Funny thing is, that's why I didn't hook up to the Internet until now. And I hooked up by finding the hotel-guest signal from my room -- for the hotel next door. It does not charge!)

So, shame on Hilton, in a big way.

But if that was a bad review, watch out Spirit Airlines. Spirit, in a word, sucks. If you have a choice between Spirit and any other airline, choose the other carrier. Yes, Spirit has leather seats. But they cover the most uncomfortable plastic and metal objects one can imagine using as airline seats. My back ached the entire flight.

Also on the entire flight, the flight attendants INTENTIONALLY turned the temperature up to a point where even I, as in I, the person who hates room temperatures too cold, was way too hot. I had to ding and ding the attendants throughout the flight because it was so uncomfortable. And it wasn't due to any mechanical problems, just that they set it up high.

But the biggest kick -- aside from the $20 fee for baggage -- was they don't have ANY entertainment, even for a fee. They claim to keep fares low (NOT!) by allowing their passengers to bring their own entertainment devices. What a bunch of B.S. That's just their way of saying we were too cheap to buy minor upgrades to our new Airbus A-319 aircraft. Even low-cost carriers JetBlue and AirTran offer more -- and more comfortable seats, to boot.

So in summary: Great family, cheap hotel, crappy airline.

2008-06-20T21:33:00.001-04:00

Universal sign - with mountains in the background.

2008-06-20T21:27:00.001-04:00

Bunny ears on Jason Bourne?

2008-06-20T19:41:00.001-04:00

Melissa's tongue also is colored - strawberry red.

2008-06-20T19:38:00.001-04:00

Grace has a blue tongue from her squishee.

2008-06-20T14:32:00.000-04:00

We are at Universal.

2008-06-19T21:15:00.000-04:00

Hannah carries Grace.

2008-06-19T21:08:00.000-04:00

My brother Dan.

2008-06-18T22:49:00.001-04:00

Amy and Brice at the restaurant.

2008-06-18T15:16:00.001-04:00

This one is me at The Greeters Corner in Laguna Beach.

2008-06-18T15:11:00.001-04:00

Catherine at The Greeters restaurant in Laguna Beach.

2008-06-17T01:49:00.000-04:00

We're here.

2008-06-16T20:07:00.001-04:00

Off to Los Angeles from Lauderdale.

To my biggest brother

2008-06-16T13:17:00.002-04:00

Since Keith is currently on his day long trek out West today I wanted to let everyone know what a gift he has been to me from the time when my phone rang a couple of months ago and I looked at the caller ID and it said Keith Kohn till today, as he flies across the country and we finally "meet". We seem to already have a special bond or we just have too much time on our hands because we talk on the phone everyday. This has been a hard time in my life. Coming to terms with my father's shortcomings, chronic asthma that has had me hospitalized in the last 18 months more times than I can count and tying up all the lose ends as administrator of my little brother, Andy Kohn's estate.
He has been a true blessing in my life and for being an only child he certainly has taken the job of oldest brother better than anyone can imagine.
I am looking forward to not only the next 2 weeks but to the rest of our lives.
So biggest brother, here's to a lifetime of ups and downs, smiles and tears and whatever life throws at us. We all have each other and now I have 2 big brothers to lean on and that's a nice feeling. See you soon!! Love, your little sister, Amy

Today Is The Big Day

2008-06-16T07:25:00.002-04:00

It's 7:30 a.m. on the East Coast and 4:30 on the Left Coast. Catherine and I have to adjust ourselves three hours early starting today.

We travel for much of the day, first to Fort Lauderdale, then to LAX. We arrive about 11:30 p.m., which will feel like 2:30 our time.

By the time we pick up our rental and drive to the hotel in Orange County it'll feel like 4 a.m., I'm sure.

Then tomorrow I'll meet Amy, Brice and their kids. Perhaps Dan and his daughter. And hopefully within a couple of days I'll meet Tracy and her kids.

It all adds up to a very amazing two weeks ahead.

Whew! A Wedding In A Week

2008-06-14T22:52:00.006-04:00

Well, it's official. Aimee is a married woman.

Two down, two to go. (Just kidding, Kim and Karen.)

It was a really nice day and a very nice service. The food after was great and the house did a good job of standing in for a wedding chapel. Catherine and Kim re-arranged the dining room to really look like a chapel, down to the trelis and seating.

Attached to this file is a video I shot of the ceremony. Enjoy.

2008-06-14T18:56:00.001-04:00

The kiss.

2008-06-14T18:54:00.001-04:00

A done deal.

2008-06-14T14:15:00.001-04:00

Wedding cake.

2008-06-14T14:11:00.001-04:00

Aimee's wedding cake.

13,025

2008-06-13T22:33:00.002-04:00

That's the number of hits to my two blogs, kohnzone.blogspot.com and CancerVivor.blogspot.com since I launched CancerVivor late last year.

Wow.

And to think it happened -- surpassing 13,000 visitors -- on this day, Friday the 13th of June, 2008. Maybe my luck is changing for the better, after all.

CancerVivor was borne to help people avoid the ordeal I went through late in 2007 and early 2008, when I was diagnosed, treated, irradiated, extricated and cleansed of cancer of the esophagus. I hope the blog saves lives by educating people.

Cancer of the esophagus is among the most deadly forms of the disease. It sneaks up on you and by the time you find out it's there it's practically too late.

I was lucky. It was discovered in my lower esophagus before the disease spread to my lymph nodes and the rest of my body. Luckily, I had amazing doctors who recently had taken part in a national study of a new way to treat the cancer. It appears to have worked, thanks to their skills, dedication, hard work and good humor.

Dr. John Pfeiffer in Celebration sent me to the right gastro guy. Dr. Phillip Styne found the tumor and sent me to just the right oncologist. Dr. Lee Zehngebot and radiation oncologist Dr. David Diamond -- both fresh from the study mentioned above -- did a one-two rope-a-dope on the cancer and zapped it from existence and kept it from spreading. Dr. Joseph Boyer then went in and cut the tumor and surrounding tissue out.

There were others, but these are the main players. All to save a life so, hopefully, I could save some more with this blog.

Remember, if you find it difficult to swallow, see a doctor. If you've had heartburn for a long time and it seems to go away without medical help, see a doctor. They're signs of cancer or at least Barrett's Esophagus, a pre-cancer condition. Remember, Tums and Rolaids won't relieve you of cancer, they just ease the symptoms of heartburn.

See a doctor.

I did, and I'm here as a result. Also a result is the reason behind my latest blog, kohnzone.

It was created after my Mom died in early April and I discovered I have three surviving siblings, two sisters and a brother, on my father's side. I went from only child to eldest child overnight.

And in two days, I'll be on their side of the continent ready to meet up.

Catherine and I fly off to Los Angeles on Monday afternoon. We'll be there nearly two weeks and have a lot planned in that time.

But before I leave, tomorrow, just hours away, really, daughter Aimee is getting married. Longtime in discussion but just a week to plan, we're having the ceremony and celebration at our Orlando house. I'll update the blog with photos and, perhaps, video during and after the wedding and reception.

Then Catherine and I will finish packing for the trip.

What a weekend. What a couple of weeks.

But, thankfully, what a life!

Lots Of News This Weekend

2008-06-10T23:25:00.002-04:00

As you might expect, this is a big weekend coming up.

Yeah, Catherine and I fly off to meet my sisters and brother and their children, plus a couple of adventures while there.

But now there's a new twist. Another happy twist. (Seems as if that's been happening a lot in my life, doesn't it?)

Daughter Aimee Rebecca Kohn and her longtime boyfriend Luis Nunez will become man and wife this weekend. (See two previous posts below.) It's a long story but let's just say for now that they'd been talking about it for a long time and pulled the trigger, so to speak, a couple weeks ago. They planned to do a civil ceremony at the courthouse but we wouldn't think of it. (Hmm, come to think of it, Catherine and I thought of it 28 years ago, when we did just that in April 1980.)

So, within a week of being notified of their intentions, they'll be married by a good friend of theirs. The wedding will be religion-neutral; the party will be at my house.

It truly will be a family affair. Daughter Kim, who officiated at Jenny and Chris' wedding in December, is baking the tiered cake and doing the decorations by hand. Catherine becomes Chef Catherine, with much help -- maybe even a leading role as chef -- from Kim, as well.

OK, so, we have a wedding, Father's Day, then fly-off-to-meet-your-family-day. Not bad for a weekend.

There'll be photos and video from the wedding here soon after the nuptials are completed.

Meantime, Catherine and I have shopped for the trip, done some packing and are ready to go.

Aimee's Engagement Ring

2008-06-09T13:10:00.002-04:00

Aimee's ring.

The Happy Couple

2008-06-09T00:25:00.002-04:00

Aimee and Luis share a few smiles after they broach the subject of their upcoming wedding.

Luis broke the ice by saying they're thinking of getting married at the end of the year. Aimee corrected him, "Um, by the end of the month." But since we're taking off for two weeks, we moved up the date to Saturday, June 14, 2008.

About 2 weeks away

2008-06-01T12:53:00.003-04:00

Two weeks from today my vacation begins, and two days later, on June 16, Catherine and I jet to L.A. (oddly, via Fort Lauderdale) to meet my brother and sisters, and their kids.

I can't wait.

Catherine and I will fly there and back on Spirit Airlines (a Florida-based airline) and stay at the Hilton and Double Tree hotels our first week and the Double Tree in Anaheim our second week there. Both are Hilton properties and look top-notch on their Web sites.

What we also thought was lost has been found again. Catherine had a pass to the Magic Castle restaurant and theater. The pass will get two couples in, dressed semi-formal and ready to enjoy a dinner show of magic. Catherine says it's a fun place to dine.

We're also planning to visit Universal Hollywood and Magic Mountain while we're there. Sadly, Universal this weekend suffered a devastating blow when two movie studios there as well as the King Kong attraction were destroyed in a fire. See the Orlando Sentinel's or Los Angeles Times' Web sites for more on this. Hopefully the ride will be restored to service by the time we get there. If not, we'll have to enjoy the rest of the park.

Other plans include the beach, day trips to Santa Catalina Island and elsewhere and our trip to Vegas for two nights at the Mandalay Bay Resort, courtesy of Brice and Amy.

In other words, we're packing a lot into two weeks.

But the most important part of the trip, the reason for it, is to meet and get to know my sisters and brother and their children. Catherine and I are looking forward to forging new relationships that will last a lifetime.

After all, 40 or so years is a long time to catch up on, but we'll try.

Pleasant Conversation With Cousin Michael

2008-05-27T13:50:00.004-04:00

I met my cousin Michael Hertzberg via a phone call on Monday. He's Arlene's brother and Edie's son, for those who haven't followed along so far.

Michael, pictured at right with his two boys, and his wife live in the D.C. area, where he's a psychiatrist in private practice and she's a psychologist and counselor at the same office. Their two sons are both in college -- one of them in South Florida.

We chatted for about 20 or so minutes and it was a great first meeting. I filled him in on my life and how it came to be that I was not part of the family and now I am. He passed along what little he knows of my origins or the separation of my parents, though he did remember a little bit about that time.

Michael is the eldest of the cousins and he said in his youth he and Mel Kohn were friendly. He remembered Mel leaving New York for points west, but that's about all he can remember.

Ah well. Like I've said before, with the two key players in this drama no longer here I'll probably never learn quite what broke them up, or why. Like they say, water under the bridge.

At this point, I have a future to look forward to with my wife, kids, brother, sisters, cousins and aunt, not to mention the cousins, aunts and uncles I've known for all my life.

2008-05-26T14:44:00.001-04:00

Catherine and I are at Kennedy Space Center. Thats a rocket engine behind me.

We're All Ready to Rock

2008-05-23T11:15:00.002-04:00

Purchased tickets the other day to for Catherine and I to fly to LAX next month. We decided to leave a day earlier than planned and stay a day later, so we're gone from June 16th to the 29th. That'll still give me a day to recover before I return to work.

During the trip, we're planning to go to Universal, Magic Mountain, Catalina Island, Las Vegas and several other day trips, maybe even as far north as San Francisco, though that's quite a trip and I'm not sure we're going to want to do that to ourselves.

I can't wait to meet my brother and sisters face to face. We've been apart way too long -- a lifetime by any measure -- and that's just not right.

Well, Keith you forgot one thing...

2008-05-20T10:02:00.003-04:00

It seems that all Kohn men have the somewhat hairy trait that could only be called ape-like. I always wondered how our father knew at what point to quit while he was shaving. Maybe he stopped at the point that his comb-over met his thick coat of body hair?? I guess this is another one of those question that will never be answered. It's so unfair that we have to wonder all our lives but we'll just have to learn to live with it.

Another handful of photos

2008-05-19T23:54:00.007-04:00

I think I have a couple more batches of pictures to post, so might as well get some of them online now.

One thing I find fascinating is seeing bits of me in so many of these photos. Yeah, I know, there's definitely a Kohn waistline or gut, take your pick. And the hairline, or lack thereof. It's there, too.

Yet these all are markers that show how similar we are, even if, in some cases, generations separate us. Not to mention the parental differences my brother and sisters and I have.

You can still tell we're related, and I find that a wonderful thing.

Importance of family

2008-05-19T01:49:00.008-04:00

One thing these photos show me is the importance of family.

I look at the smiles of the people in the images on these past few posts and can't help but wonder what role I could have played in their lives had I known them decades ago.

The images on this post are mostly of my father Mel Kohn. He removed himself from the fabric of my life before my birth. Throughout my life, I saw this as his loss. But now that I realize there were other members of my family out there.

I feel this loss, too. Moreso than when I was a kid and had to explain where my father was, or was not. The fights I got in over it are nothing in comparison to this void that I now know can't be filled:

Grandparents I'll never have a chance to meet. A brother removed from the canvass before the brush was even dipped into paint. An uncle and aunt also out of my mind's eye before ever appearing. Cousins who have children of their own as old as mine and who I've never met.

What would their lives have been like and what would my life have been like had we known each other all these years?

It's all moot, though, since those are questions that will never be answered. Still, I can't help but pose the question.

And that is a shame.

Some more photos

2008-05-19T01:28:00.006-04:00

As promised, here are some more photos of my "other" family, the family I didn't know I had until just a month ago, give or take a few days.

The photos are in pretty good shape considering their age.

One is a shot (above) of an article about my father Mel Kohn when he became office manager of the L.A. office of a trucking line. It mentions him driving a little sports car, and cousin Arlene Franco had a shot of him in that car which I've added here. (The article also mentions his enjoyment of the single life. He needs a smack upside the head for that one, methinks!)

In any event, the photos are what they are, a visual reconstruc- tion of my family, aunts, uncles, grand- parents, warts and all.

Enjoy.

Some good old photos

2008-05-19T01:05:00.009-04:00

During our visit to Sarasota on Sunday, May 18, my cousin Arlene also went over a vast collection of photos, and, in the process, gave me some to take home and share with my family, display, admire, burn, whatever.

I've scanned most of them in and posting a bunch here. Most are of my father, Mel Kohn, some are my brothers and sisters in their younger years, some are of my aunts and uncles and grandparents. They'll appear in the next couple of posts.

Enjoy.

A wonderful first meeting

2008-05-19T00:09:00.008-04:00

Catherine, Kim, Karen and I traveled to Sarasota today to meet Arlene and Ricky Franco, my cousins. Arlene is the daughter of my late Aunt Edie, my father Mel Kohn's sister.
Arlene and Ricky are, to put it best, wonderful people, outstanding hosts and the type to make visitors -- even strangers though related for a lifetime -- feel completely welcome, completely comfortable. And, oddly, I felt an immediate connection with Arlene. Almost like I've known her forever.

But I guess we're from different branches of the same family tree. The same stock. The same blood.

So this visit was something special for me. A chance to commune with a newcomer to my life and family. It was like that from the moment we left the car. An at-ease feeling and openness about our families and, to a large degree, my origins.

After the usual hugs, handshakes, smiles and the like, we got down to business. That business being conjecture, speculation, jokes and what-ifs about the dividing forces between my two parents, Beatrice Spitz and Mel Kohn. Mel was Arlene's uncle and she said he was a pretty good guy.

So what would divide these two to such a degree that Arlene's mom would take the same photo I have of the two of them -- the only photo I had up until the past month of the two of them, or of Mel at all -- and cut my mother out of the picture. It's a literal and figurative phrase in this case, just look at the photo.

Compare it with the one below. It's kind of funny, kind of sad.

Since neither of the key players are with us, it boiled down to speculation, conjecture, educated guesses based upon conversations with said key players and those around them at the time. In other words, we what-iffed the subject about as far as we could. And that wasn't very far.

That said, we couldn't really determine how it was that my mother and my father would have nothing to do with one another during much of her pregnancy and thereafter.

But we do know that after their split, my mom remained in California -- as did my father -- before returning to New York when I was a little over a year old. What roles my aunt Edie, my uncle Dan or my grandmother played in any of this can't be determined.

Maybe that's a good thing.

So given these few facts, we did what anyone in our shoes would do.

We ate.

We talked.

And we got to know one another as best we could for a first time together. We learned about Arlene and Ricky's two kids, Bret and Ali. He's a lawyer, she's studying to be one. He's in Chicago, she's in New York.

We talked about this amazing discovery of a family divided by time. We talked about our parents, our children, our lives.

Ricky gave me a quick tour of the house. One thing you notice are the walls. Or, rather, the artwork on the walls. You see, Arlene is the artist of most pieces. She works in watercolors and oils, though I think she prefers oils. I told her she ought to get her works into a gallery. She's just that good.

I'm so glad we got to know one another and I hope our relationships grow from here.

2008-05-18T15:37:00.001-04:00

Arlene relaxing on the patio.

2008-05-18T14:43:00.001-04:00

Arlene and I at her house in Sarasota.

Just confirmed Sunday's visit with Arlene

2008-05-15T13:54:00.002-04:00

Just got off the phone with one of my newest cousins, Arlene, to confirm our reunion this weekend and all is set. Catherine and I will drive to Sarasota on Sunday morning and we'll visit in the afternoon.

I plan to bring photos, maybe a few videos, my cancer album and bar mitzvah album to share snippets of my and our life with her.

I'm sure at some point we'll stop by sister-in-law Theresa's house on the way out for a quick visit since we'll be so close.

This will be my first face-to-face contact with one of my long-lost relatives.

I can't wait.

Just a few more photos

2008-05-12T15:06:00.014-04:00

While awaiting more photos from my sisters and brother, I thought I'd pop a few more photos onto the blog. These are some of my fond memories, first a couple from my bar mitzvah and then a few more-modern images.

The two at the top are, first, of my aunts and uncles at the time of my 13th birthday.

The next is a shot of my cousins and our grandmother.

It was a big day in my life and, thankfully, so many were there to share in it with me.

Above is a shot of my clan as pictured at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay in the last couple of years of the 20th Century. For those on the Left Coast, pictured are, clockwise from left, daughter Jenny, wife Catherine, Mom, daughter Kim, daughter Aimee and daughter Karen, plus, of course, myself in the middle. I've been in the middle of a lot between them all, but that's another story.

Then are a couple of nice shots of Catherine and myself.

The one at the waterfall, right, was shot about a dozen or so years ago while visiting friends Mary Ann Murdoch and Ted Hoffman at their former home in the western mountains of South Carolina.

They've since moved back to Florida and now live in Lakeland. Mary Ann works at the Lakeland Ledger and also teaches at the University of Central Florida and Ted is an editor at the Tampa Tribune.

The final shot is of Catherine and I at Kennedy Space Center, in the fairly new Apollo pavillion in which a full Saturn V rocket, the one that, sadly, never went into space due to budget cuts, is on display. It's one of my favorite places to visit, since I am such a space buff.

I'll add more photos in the coming days, and I'm sure some of them will be of my family out West, so those of you up on the Eastern Seaboard will be able to see who I'm talking about when I mention folks.

Also, this coming weekend Catherine and I plan to visit my cousin Arlene in Sarasota. This will be the first face-to-face meeting with the lost branch of my family.

I'm looking forward to the visit.

Tracy and I finally connect

2008-05-11T20:54:00.007-04:00

I had a very pleasant surprise today -- Mother's Day 2008. I received a call from my sister Tracy. We'd missed one another earlier in the week and it was great to hear from her. And daughter Elyse, too, who was in the background.

Once again I've found it weird to be referred to as brother and uncle and to refer to this person as a sister. It's been a foreign concept for so long. Me? A brother? But it's a fact of my life. I am a brother. An older brother, to boot.

We chatted about what we might do when I'm out West, where we'll go. And I reminded Tracy that we're just 20 minutes from Disney World when she, Elyse and Nolan make it to the Sunshine State.

I've scanned in several photos to share with my new family of me many, many years ago, but first I'm adding a wonderful photo of Elyse and Nolan shot a few years ago to let one half of my family see what more of the other half looks like.

I really like the effect used in the picture; it's just a great shot of two really cute kids.

But for a really cute kid you have to admire the shots that follow -- of course, they're of me and Mom when I was still out in California, some with cousin Amy in the shot, in 1959-60 and then in Brooklyn in early and then mid-1961.

No laughing, please.

The next several shots are in Brooklyn at my second birthday. The top photo is of me and several of my cousins in the basement family room of our house in Brooklyn, followed by a couple more from the same event. The usual characters, grandparents, aunts, cousins, family friends -- and a few people I don't recognize.

Below is a shot of cousin Janye and me at Rockaway beach in May 1961. I've loved the beach and marine life ever since. And as the photo below that one attests, I also enjoyed just hanging around in the backyard in Brooklyn.

Skipping ahead a decade and a half, give or take a few years, below is my frat brothers and I -- plus the little sisters -- of Tau Epsilon Phi outside the frat house in 1978. That's the year it was selected by Playboy magazine as the partyingest house in America. Playboy threw us one hell of a party. Can you recognize me? I'm on my knees in the second row in my "Jew-fro." Oh, that's also the year my pledge class defeated the other predominantly Jewish frat on campus in what became known as the "Nose Bowl." I played offensive center in that game.

Well, there are plenty more photos to resuscitate from dusty boxes and bags, but for another time.

12,000 and growing

2008-05-07T09:23:00.004-04:00

It took a lot to get here. But here we are. Since launching CancerVivor.blogspot.com a lot has changed. Much of it for the worse, but it looks like things are picking up.

I say that because of the reunion via phone last month of the Kohn siblings -- Amy, Dan and myself. Meeting Tracy, my other sister, is yet to come and I look forward to it.

But much has passed since the blog went up. I went through seven weeks of intense chemotherapy, six-plus weeks of radiation at the same time, surgery and the recuperation one needs to get over all that -- if one really gets over it at all in a deeper sense.

Then there were the eight-plus months Mom went through, along with the rest of the family, as she wended her way through horrible medical issues that eventually took her life last month.

Which brings us to here, to now. I've begun to develop a relationship with my new family, and we're all documenting it at kohnzone.blogspot.com.

And in that time, as of this morning, May 7, 2008, 12,004 page hits have been recorded on the two blogs. I'd like to reiterate it's probably the same few dozen people checking out the progress on both fronts, and you're very welcome to continue stopping by.

While you're here, click on an ad or two as you stumble by them. The money raised -- so far about $15 -- will go to the Florida Hospital Cancer Institute, the place that helped save my life.

Here's another photo

2008-05-06T14:34:00.003-04:00

As I noted in the previous post, I am adding a photo of my cousin Arlene and her family. They are, from left, Arlene, Bret, Ricky and Ali Franco.

The Francos live in Sarasota, not terribly far from my sister-in-law Theresa near downtown and my cousin Amy and her family, who are just south of Sarasota.

Catherine and I plan to visit Arlene and family later this month. I'll bring a camera to capture the visit.

Nice nieces

2008-05-06T00:02:00.005-04:00

It's funny. I've been an uncle to a half-dozen kids for decades, the children of Catherine's three brothers. They're all great young men and women, all diverse in their interests and accomplishments, all adding moments of pride to our lives.

Now I have eight more nieces and nephews to begin to know and enjoy.

Tonight I had brief conversation with Abby, Melissa and Grace, three nieces in the Jones clan. I've met them each over the phone a couple times before and I can't wait until June to meet them in person.

They're equally charmed by their "new" uncle, even if they can't always remember his name.

They loved the photo of the kittens I emailed their mom last week and they were telling me about their pooch Snickers.

Catherine and I have been checking out the airfares regularly and I'll probably make a purchase in the coming days. Don't want to get them too early, lest I miss out on any deals, but don't want to wait too long either because the prices are sure to rise.

But I digress.

Over the weekend Amy send me some more photos. These were a tribute to my brother Andy, who I never met and unfortunately will never have the pleasure of meeting. Both Amy and I can't help but to think he's keeping an eye on us and will be happy for this reunion.

Are the photos goofy?

At least one is. There's a story behind why Brice, Dan and Andy are wearing the same shorts. Honest.

I also heard again this weekend from my cousin Arlene, who lives in Sarasota -- just about two hours from Orlando. We plan to visit with Arlene and husband Bret later this month. She'll be my first face-to-face meeting with members of the other half of my family. She sent a family photo and as soon as I have her permission to publish it here I promise I will.

When is your family "finished"?

2008-05-03T20:32:00.004-04:00

Let me introduce myself. My name is Amy Jones. I was born in June,1967. I am the daughter of Melvin and Rita Kohn. I am the mother of Kenny, Abby, Melissa and Grace. I am the wife of Brice Jones and the sister to Dan, Tracy, Andy..and Keith. My family is my life and what I live for. I just keep adjusting my vision of family to include all the new suprises this big, wonderful world has to offer.

Over the last few weeks I've asked myself this question many times. "When is a family finished, done, no mas, the fat lady has sung!! As a busy mom of 3, my husband and I said our family was finished only to find out that we were wrong,we we were missing our little Gracie Girl and she was what made our family complete. I never thought that I needed Gracie until she came and turns out she's the only one that even looks like me!!
As a sister I thought that book was written about 40 years ago. I was the sister of Dan, Tracy and Andy. That's it. Complete. I guess I was wrong again. Turns out the ink isn't even dry on the pages. This book now seems to have no ending. I just keep turning the pages to see where this all ends up. I have laid to rest a brother only and gained a new one all in the last year. Both as earth shattering as the other, both as natural as the other. A loss that seems insurmountable and a gain that is neverending. In one fail swoop I have changed from a sister of a few to a family that is continuously growing. (And they say that kids nowadays are disrespectful and are lacking manners compared to how dignified and proper people were"in the old days". Mom and Dad, you have me beat by a MILLION!!)
Turns out we really have no control over how the old whipper snappers conducted themselves way back when. Seems that there was a lot of whipping and snapping going on and not enough
thinking and respecting. I am at the same time embarrassed and outraged that our father, Melvin Kohn, knowingly had a child and CHOSE not to be in his life and yet if he was the man I would have wanted him to be would have meant that I wouldn't exist. Mel would have never met Rita, his nurse when he had his first heart attack and literally married the first woman he saw and quickly spit out 4 kids in about 6 years. He was my hero and now I feel his dishonor. I still love our Dad but now I know he was just man. He made mistakes and I believe he and Beatrice and Rita and Andy are up there trying to make this right. And so we will. What they couldn't do while here on Earth we will do for them. We are a family. With all the imperfections a family could possibly have. Our parents made mistakes but we aren't them. Just as Grace wasn't a mistake, Keith isn't a mistake, my brothers and sisters (??!) aren't mistakes. I'm not a mistake. My family will never be finished. I am a family of many.

Even more photos

2008-05-02T11:17:00.008-04:00

Amy sent a couple more photos from out West.

One is a shot of her and her Mom. The other is a shot of her family along with Brice's mom as they boarded a Disney Cruise Line ship.

That marks another similarity we share: an affinity for cruising.

Catherine and I also cruised on a Disney ship, actually the first cruise out of Port Canaveral of any Disney ship -- the Disney Magic, the line's first ship. While the air-conditioning vents leaked of condensed water as the ship was dehumidified, the food in one restaurant was downright awful and the coffee cream in another was sour, the ship overall was a beautiful vessel. I'm sure the line, by now, has improved the quality since its maiden voyage. And it didn't turn us off of the cruise vacation at all.

I'm sure we'll find many more similarities in the coming weeks, months and years. After all, we are family with plenty of time ahead of us.

A genetic Golden Spike

2008-05-02T10:34:00.008-04:00

Not unlike May 10, 1869, our reunion in June will be historic for families on both coasts.

It was on that date in Promontory Point, Utah, that a golden spike was hammered into a uniting rail track and trains from both coasts butted noses for the first time.

In mid-June, 2008, families from West and East will no doubt hug, cry and smile at one another, face to face, for the first time.

Like the photo below at the Golden Spike Ceremony, I believe we, too, will make lasting memories.

A glimpse at the families

2008-05-01T10:15:00.005-04:00

I've received two photos of my family out West. First was a shot of sister Amy, her husband Brice and their klan. Then Amy sent one of she and our siblings, circa 1975, with Mel Kohn.

On this side of the continent, I sent over a few shots of my family. Attached on this post are two such photos. One is of the Keith Kohn gang about five years ago while boarding a cruise out of Miami. The other is of Catherine, my better half, as captured on our sailboat last year. Now, those on the Left Coast can glance east without squinting.

It's great to have an idea of whom I'm speaking with on the phone, and I'm sure the feeling's mutual as well, out there.

Here are a few of the photos.

WEST COASTERS

EAST COASTERS

Wonderful similarities

2008-04-29T10:39:00.002-04:00

In the weeks since I've met my brother and sister via phone I've learned a lot about each.

For example, Amy and I enjoy the same author, Ken Follett. Dan and I sound alike -- so much so that Amy's kids can't tell us apart on the phone. As you may have seen in the previous post, Dan also is a wonderful writer.

Physically, none of us are thin.

All of us, clearly, are intelligent and we all like multitudes of kids.

It's really going to be wonderful learning more about one another in the coming weeks, months and years.

But so far we're off to a great start.

A New Season

2008-04-27T18:00:00.009-04:00

The cycles of life, and of fate, are interesting beyond belief.

My brother died in January, 2007. Andy Kohn was a gentle soul, haunted by voices no one else could hear, slowed by medicines to harness those voices, trying his best to earn a living and maintain his independence. He was an overcomer, until the day the medicines and financial stresses and challenges of modern life all intertwined to finally break his body down. He passed in his sleep, a victim of the medicinal cocktails he took to combat schizophrenia. I believe he simply needed the peace after a lifetime of struggle. Having lost both parents, my sisters and I now had to face life without our brother. I often thought, "Hasn't our family suffered enough loss?"

Meanwhile, across the country and outside our knowledge, Keith Kohn was facing loss as well. Facing his own cancer and the failing health of his mother, Keith explored his family roots and waited for the right time to reach out. Out of respect for his mother, he waited until her passing to call my sister and introduce himself.

I can't help but believe that in the time of grief in both halves of this family, a new family is being born. It is comforting to know that in times of loss, the seeds of new life are sown. As I reflected upon these changes in the past few days, I recall some ancient words that capture this timing well. Keith's other blog had several lyrical references, so I thought I would continue in that tradition and point to an ancient (the 60's!) song from the Byrds based on an even older passage in Ecclesiastes.

It's a new time, a new season in our lives. This truly is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Welcome to the family. My brother lives.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNopQq5lWqQ

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It all began...

2008-04-24T11:11:00.003-04:00

It all began here, in Flatbush, which is in Brooklyn, N.Y. There, Mel Kohn (above left) and my mom, Beatrice Spitz, met and dated in the late 1950s.

They hooked up and went out West and ... pop, I was born in late 1959. But by then, my father had headed back East and Mom had gone through the pregnancy living with friends Sheila and Jack Bailey, and then with her sister, my Aunt Sukee and my cousin David Spitz. Later, she and I lived with my Aunt Faye and Uncle Chip Levine and their two daughters, Amy and Stacey.

When I was a little more than a year old we moved back to Brooklyn, to the home of my grandparents Sam and Yetta Spitz. (I learned only recently that I was living about a mile or so from my Aunt Joan Kohn and her two sons, Alan and Jeffery.

But for the next 47 years, I'd hear nothing of my father -- or his new family. I had no idea they existed and they didn't really know I existed except in theory.

Welcome

2008-04-24T09:15:00.003-04:00

It took my mother's death for me to discover the family I never knew I had.

Somehow, there's a reason for this reunion, and I hope in the coming weeks and months I'll discover this, or perhaps we'll discover it together.

This amazing discovery happened a week ago today when I met my sister and brother on the phone for the first time. I discovered I had four siblings, probably a fifth, and that one, my brother Andy, died a little over a year ago after a lengthy illness. I have a brother and two sisters who live in Southern California, and, likely, a third sister who, like me, is estranged from my father's core family. I'm the oldest of the Kohn gang, and like me they have a bounty of children.

My brother Dan Kohn, named after an uncle, is the eldest of these siblings, followed by Amy Jones and Tracy Jones (yes, the ladies are married to brothers). Andy was the youngest.

Among them are eight nieces and nephews I also never knew I had.

I've known since the 1990s my father had died but never knew for sure he had more kids. I'd suspected all along he had moved back to New York after leaving my mother, though in 1978, at age 17 and after a trip out West with mom, she told me she was surprised I hadn't looked up my father while we were in the L.A. area.

It registered, yet didn't. Why, I thought at the time, would I care to meet a man who had foresaken me? I didn't really care much about him at the time. But over the years things change. As you might have read at my companion blog, CancerVivor.blogspot.com, I developed cancer late last year and defeated -- hopefully permanently -- it earlier this year. So reality hit me in the face like a brick.

About a month or more ago I did some research online and found the obituary for my father, Mel Kohn, who passed away in January 1992. It listed four children as survivors. That is how I tracked down my West Coast family. From that obit in the Orange County Register.

But do you know how many Dan Kohns there are in Southern California? A bunch. And since then, both Amy and Tracy became Joneses and Andy passed away. Still, I found a number for Amy and on Thursday, April 17, about a week and a half after Mom died, I dialed her number. I waited until about 1 p.m. local time, since there's a three-hour difference and didn't want to disturb Amy too early.

When she answered the phone, I asked if it was Amy, and she said yes. I then said, "I think we are related. I think we have the same father."

She was taken aback but not shocked. She kinda sorta knew I existed, she said amid tears from us both. It was amazing. I had a sister.

But not only that, I had another sister and a brother. Amy and I chatted for about an hour, maybe more, as we learned a bit about one another and our new families. She has four kids, Dan two and Tracy two. I still have an aunt, the widow of Daniel Kohn, Joan, and four cousins, one of whom who lives about two hours away in Sarasota.

Imagine, going from only child to eldest of a handful. As Dan said when I spoke to him later that day, "It's a lot to digest."

But we can digest it over time as I learn more about my new family.