I am flattered and honored that there have been more than 14,000 visits to my blogs since I launched CancerVivor.blogspot.com in October 2007.
Since then, I also created kohnzone.blogspot.com after discovering a piece of my family I never knew existed.
Throughout, I have tried to warn anyone who would listen about the dangers of ordinary heartburn and acid reflux. Most recently, I logged into Facebook and soon was chatting with a friend from high school whose longterm domestic partner has been having acid reflux for years. She and her partner live offshore, so he hasn't been receiving the type of care we expect here. I implored her to force him to see a doctor and I hope she's read through this blog and forced him to read it too.
That's because heartburn can cause cancer, which can cause death. It's that simple.
So if you or someone you care about has longtime heartburn, reflux or the like, please, please have that person see a gastroenterologist. Soon.
Time is important because this is a dangerous cancer and you don't want it to spread. That's what could make it fatal.
Please keep reading and I'll keep writing. And I hope that helps save a few lives in the process.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
In retrospect and reflection
I talk to Amy, Tracy and Dan and I realize several things.
One, that without the obvious splitup of my parents, as depicted in the photo shot in Brooklyn in 1958 or '59, my siblings Dan, Amy, Tracy and Andy never would have been.
Two, that the aforementioned split helped shape me and make me who I am, and, to a degree, who my children are. I have no complaints.
Three, that while my father was a caring and compassionate man toward his children out West, he also failed them in some respects. Some of the failings were his fault, many were not. Among the former, he gave up when trying to win their custody after it appeared he lost. At the time, men infrequently won custody, true. Later, he focused on anger over his divorce with their mom, and that got in the way of his parenting, relegating him to being a so-called "Disney Dad." Anger betrayed the love he felt for them. In spite of this, not because of it, they turned out pretty damned good.
Four, I am not sorry that my parents split. I turned out well, as did they, and I now have a brother and two sisters. Further, I was blessed to have a wonderful mother who gave me a wonderful foundation to build my life upon. I'm not sure which is better: growing up an only child or growing up the eldest of what might have been five had they remained a couple. We'll never know. None of us, since all the key players in this drama have passed.
Oh, the questions I'd ask Mom if she were here. But at least her scarlet letter has been lifted -- and shame on those who imposed it on her.
One, that without the obvious splitup of my parents, as depicted in the photo shot in Brooklyn in 1958 or '59, my siblings Dan, Amy, Tracy and Andy never would have been.
Two, that the aforementioned split helped shape me and make me who I am, and, to a degree, who my children are. I have no complaints.
Three, that while my father was a caring and compassionate man toward his children out West, he also failed them in some respects. Some of the failings were his fault, many were not. Among the former, he gave up when trying to win their custody after it appeared he lost. At the time, men infrequently won custody, true. Later, he focused on anger over his divorce with their mom, and that got in the way of his parenting, relegating him to being a so-called "Disney Dad." Anger betrayed the love he felt for them. In spite of this, not because of it, they turned out pretty damned good.
Four, I am not sorry that my parents split. I turned out well, as did they, and I now have a brother and two sisters. Further, I was blessed to have a wonderful mother who gave me a wonderful foundation to build my life upon. I'm not sure which is better: growing up an only child or growing up the eldest of what might have been five had they remained a couple. We'll never know. None of us, since all the key players in this drama have passed.
Oh, the questions I'd ask Mom if she were here. But at least her scarlet letter has been lifted -- and shame on those who imposed it on her.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Looking back to the past few weeks
It's Saturday morning and this past week has been a whirlwind. Since arriving home we spent about a day r
ecovering from the daylong journey on Spirit Air, which does anything but lift your spirits. Then I was back at work, and Catherine prepared for her trip to Maryland to visit Melissa, EJ and the gang.
So, looking back, the two weeks spent in California were amazing. I met two sisters and a brother -- and their children and one very nice husband -- who, until a couple months ago, I'd never spoken with and didn't know existed until a short time before that.
We don't really look alike, but what w
e share is our father. Mel Kohn, we suspect, traveled to California and spent some time there with my mother before they called it quits. Mom and I moved back to New York a little over a year after I was born. But Mel remained on the West Coast, where he found work as a manager in the industry he'd been in back East -- trucking.
At only 36, he had the first of three heart attacks and it was then, several years after I was in New York, that he met his future bride, Rita -- his nurse. Perhaps now aware of his mortality, he and Rita married. They purchased a house in the town of Huntington Beach, in Orange County south of Los Angeles. They had four children in rapid succession -- not unlike Catherine and myself.
Dan, named for his Uncle Daniel Kohn, is the eldest of the four. His namesake, our father's older brother, also died at a young age, not unlike their father -- my grandfather, Abe. But Dan has been getting and keeping in shape of late and has begun to run in foot races, including a half-marathon just a little
while ago. He's going through a divorce and has two children, Caleb, who was out of town during out trip out West, and Hannah, who is a gem of a daughter and, to me, niece.
Amy is the eldest daughter and the person I first was able to contact when trying to reach my new family. She's quite a woman, with a fun sense of hu
mor and a strong spirit. So strong that I don't even think Spirit Air could break hers.
She's married to Brice, an engineer with Alcoa's fastener division. He jokes that there are a lot of nuts at wo
rk, he's the nuts and bolts of the operation, and the like. 
They live in the house our father purchased in Huntington Beach, which is known as
Surf City USA, buying it from their mom several years ago. Their four children are Kenny, Abby, Missy and Grace. Each is a very distinct person with a very unique mind and spirit. We had loads of fun with all of them, even the last full day of our visit when we went to the movies.
Tracy is Mel's youngest daughter and is quite a card. Early on during our visit we kept missing one another but finally got in touch with one another. Good thing, because during our two 
visits with Tracy and her wonderful kids Elyse and Nolan we had a really good time.
Our first meeting was at The Block mall, where
we went to Dave & Busters, had a great dinner and played a ton of games. The kids won a lot of tickets and got a prize or two in exchange.
Our second time together was a trip to Magic Mountain, the Six Flags theme park north of L.A. with a bunch of amazing roller coasters. We did quite a few coasters, and I was even able 
to coax Tracy and Elyse onto the Superman coaster, which shoots you out to 100 mph then curves straight up until you reach about 325 feet before you free-fall back to the start. It was a great time and I hope the kids like their new aunt and uncle. Tracy and I are sure to build a good relationship over the years.
Sadly, I was unable to meet my youngest brother Andy because he died about 18 months earlier. Andy was a troubled soul and my regret is never getting to know -- and possibly help -- 
him out through the years. But I was able to be part of his interment at sea. Amy and Dan had planned a trip to Santa Catalina Island to scatter Andy's remains. And I
am glad they were able to schedule it during our trip out West. We traveled to the island for the afternoon and Dan rented a small powerboat -- with me at the wheel -- to head offshore for our very casual farewell to Andy. We all shed tears during the trip, perhaps Amy the most, as Dan scattered Andy's remains. As Amy said, those were just his physical remains, but his spirit remains all around us all the time. I lightened the air by pointing out that for a little bit, anyway, he was around us all the more as his ashes melded with the Pacific waters. Dan tossed in some of his and Andy's favorite baseball cards. And we all thought that perhaps Andy and his mom would bump in to one another since her remains also were interred off the Catalina coast.
Our trip to Las Vegas the previous weekend also was an important part of our visit. Amy and Brice reserved the rooms at one of the Strips nicest properties -- Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino. The room was magnificent and the ameneties wonderful -- a wave pool, a meandering lazy river pool and three swimming pools -- and the company of Amy, Brice and Dan great. It was a chance to bond and get to know one another. While we didn't hang out as much as I'd have liked in Vegas, we spent lots of time together there and on the drive there and back. Dan managed to scrape a knee even while he was sober and I introduced Amy and Brice to matzo ball soup served at the deli in the New York, New York casino, though couldn't get them to budge on the gefilte fish. Maybe next time.
We also had the opportunities to meet relatives on both sides of the family. A college graduation party in
San Diego gathered the Green family together. They're Amy's Mom's side of the family, and it was nice to meet them all. The house was in a beautiful area. It's weird that even though the city is south of L.A. and Orange County it was cooler. Toward the end of the trip we also had a chance to travel to Long Beach and visit with my cousin Trudy, her husband David, as well as cousin Jill and husbad Alan, plus their nephew, Kirk and Maddy's son Mark, now a Hollywood up-and-comer. We had a nice dinner, a tour of Trudy's condo and during the conversations Trudy offered a few insights into what she recalls of the days when my Mom and father were dating and engaged.
It's kind of like a puzzle to put together, tidbit of information by tidbit of information.
I'm sure at some point I'll have most, though not all, of the pieces filled in.
The day we flew back home, Catherine and I spent the day as tourists. We went back to Universal Hollywood, had lunch at Bubba Gump Seafood
on CityWalk, did the few rides we'd missed before, then left and touristed in Hollywood before heading to the airport for our delayed flight home. Ah Spirit Air. Gotta like em. Just remember, if ever you have an opportunity to fly on Spirit, pass it up and fly another carrier. You'll thank me later.
ecovering from the daylong journey on Spirit Air, which does anything but lift your spirits. Then I was back at work, and Catherine prepared for her trip to Maryland to visit Melissa, EJ and the gang.So, looking back, the two weeks spent in California were amazing. I met two sisters and a brother -- and their children and one very nice husband -- who, until a couple months ago, I'd never spoken with and didn't know existed until a short time before that.
We don't really look alike, but what w
e share is our father. Mel Kohn, we suspect, traveled to California and spent some time there with my mother before they called it quits. Mom and I moved back to New York a little over a year after I was born. But Mel remained on the West Coast, where he found work as a manager in the industry he'd been in back East -- trucking.At only 36, he had the first of three heart attacks and it was then, several years after I was in New York, that he met his future bride, Rita -- his nurse. Perhaps now aware of his mortality, he and Rita married. They purchased a house in the town of Huntington Beach, in Orange County south of Los Angeles. They had four children in rapid succession -- not unlike Catherine and myself.
Dan, named for his Uncle Daniel Kohn, is the eldest of the four. His namesake, our father's older brother, also died at a young age, not unlike their father -- my grandfather, Abe. But Dan has been getting and keeping in shape of late and has begun to run in foot races, including a half-marathon just a little
while ago. He's going through a divorce and has two children, Caleb, who was out of town during out trip out West, and Hannah, who is a gem of a daughter and, to me, niece.
Amy is the eldest daughter and the person I first was able to contact when trying to reach my new family. She's quite a woman, with a fun sense of hu
mor and a strong spirit. So strong that I don't even think Spirit Air could break hers.
She's married to Brice, an engineer with Alcoa's fastener division. He jokes that there are a lot of nuts at wo
rk, he's the nuts and bolts of the operation, and the like. 
They live in the house our father purchased in Huntington Beach, which is known as
Surf City USA, buying it from their mom several years ago. Their four children are Kenny, Abby, Missy and Grace. Each is a very distinct person with a very unique mind and spirit. We had loads of fun with all of them, even the last full day of our visit when we went to the movies.
Tracy is Mel's youngest daughter and is quite a card. Early on during our visit we kept missing one another but finally got in touch with one another. Good thing, because during our two 
visits with Tracy and her wonderful kids Elyse and Nolan we had a really good time.Our first meeting was at The Block mall, where
we went to Dave & Busters, had a great dinner and played a ton of games. The kids won a lot of tickets and got a prize or two in exchange.
Our second time together was a trip to Magic Mountain, the Six Flags theme park north of L.A. with a bunch of amazing roller coasters. We did quite a few coasters, and I was even able 
to coax Tracy and Elyse onto the Superman coaster, which shoots you out to 100 mph then curves straight up until you reach about 325 feet before you free-fall back to the start. It was a great time and I hope the kids like their new aunt and uncle. Tracy and I are sure to build a good relationship over the years.
Sadly, I was unable to meet my youngest brother Andy because he died about 18 months earlier. Andy was a troubled soul and my regret is never getting to know -- and possibly help -- 
him out through the years. But I was able to be part of his interment at sea. Amy and Dan had planned a trip to Santa Catalina Island to scatter Andy's remains. And I
am glad they were able to schedule it during our trip out West. We traveled to the island for the afternoon and Dan rented a small powerboat -- with me at the wheel -- to head offshore for our very casual farewell to Andy. We all shed tears during the trip, perhaps Amy the most, as Dan scattered Andy's remains. As Amy said, those were just his physical remains, but his spirit remains all around us all the time. I lightened the air by pointing out that for a little bit, anyway, he was around us all the more as his ashes melded with the Pacific waters. Dan tossed in some of his and Andy's favorite baseball cards. And we all thought that perhaps Andy and his mom would bump in to one another since her remains also were interred off the Catalina coast.Our trip to Las Vegas the previous weekend also was an important part of our visit. Amy and Brice reserved the rooms at one of the Strips nicest properties -- Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino. The room was magnificent and the ameneties wonderful -- a wave pool, a meandering lazy river pool and three swimming pools -- and the company of Amy, Brice and Dan great. It was a chance to bond and get to know one another. While we didn't hang out as much as I'd have liked in Vegas, we spent lots of time together there and on the drive there and back. Dan managed to scrape a knee even while he was sober and I introduced Amy and Brice to matzo ball soup served at the deli in the New York, New York casino, though couldn't get them to budge on the gefilte fish. Maybe next time.
We also had the opportunities to meet relatives on both sides of the family. A college graduation party in
San Diego gathered the Green family together. They're Amy's Mom's side of the family, and it was nice to meet them all. The house was in a beautiful area. It's weird that even though the city is south of L.A. and Orange County it was cooler. Toward the end of the trip we also had a chance to travel to Long Beach and visit with my cousin Trudy, her husband David, as well as cousin Jill and husbad Alan, plus their nephew, Kirk and Maddy's son Mark, now a Hollywood up-and-comer. We had a nice dinner, a tour of Trudy's condo and during the conversations Trudy offered a few insights into what she recalls of the days when my Mom and father were dating and engaged.It's kind of like a puzzle to put together, tidbit of information by tidbit of information.
I'm sure at some point I'll have most, though not all, of the pieces filled in.
The day we flew back home, Catherine and I spent the day as tourists. We went back to Universal Hollywood, had lunch at Bubba Gump Seafood
on CityWalk, did the few rides we'd missed before, then left and touristed in Hollywood before heading to the airport for our delayed flight home. Ah Spirit Air. Gotta like em. Just remember, if ever you have an opportunity to fly on Spirit, pass it up and fly another carrier. You'll thank me later.
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